


Forgiveness

by forgetme



Category: Naruto
Genre: Disturbing Themes, Kage Bunshin | Shadow Clones, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-26
Updated: 2017-03-26
Packaged: 2018-10-11 04:39:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10455162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forgetme/pseuds/forgetme
Summary: A mission goes sideways.





	

Gai had made a huge mistake, the kind of mistake a shinobi made exactly once in his lifetime. He was crouching in the centre of a crater in what had been - until mere moments ago - a thick forest in the Land of Rivers. Chakra rolled off Gai in pulsating waves, waves that grew smaller and smaller until they barely stirred the leaves on the remaining trees at the edge of crater.

Gai was running out of energy. He’d spent an hour being chased by the squad of nukenin who had tried to ambush him and Kakashi in order to steal the scroll containing a forbidden jutsu they had themselves stolen from a group of crazy cultists who had planned to use it to open the gates to naraka. Needless to say, Gai and his rival had defeated the religious fanatics and secured their secret weapon. All that had been left was to bring the scroll back to Konoha.

The sun was high in the sky, burning down on him. He felt it hot on his back, the heat like added weight now that his strength was leaving him.

Those nukenin catching up to them had been more than bad luck, he thought. There had to be another branch of the cult somewhere, evildoers who had been quick to call for backup when they realized that their comrades had been defeated by valiant Konoha shinobi.

It didn’t matter. The problem at hand was that he had lost sight of Kakashi – a mistake he hadn’t made in years – and that their attackers were also still around somewhere.

Less than a minute ago, he had felt Kakashi’s chakra flare here, right where he was now.

It hadn’t been a good flare either, not the kind of burst of chakra that meant his rival was using one of his powerful techniques to finish off an enemy, no, Kakashi’s energy had had a frantic edge to it. It had felt like a startled, desperate attack, a last resource.

Gai had just killed his opponent, a jounin-level kunoichi who’d fought him fiercely to her last breath with an exquisite combination of taijutsu and kenjutsu. As soon as she fell – still clutching her naginata in her blood-crusted hands – Gai ran for his rival’s position.

However, there was no sight of Kakashi. Only a single corpse lay a few meters away. The dead woman had short black hair. She was on her back, her legs splayed, wide-open eyes staring blindly into the sun. Her torso was a reddish black hole already attracting flies.

_Chidori._

They had been attacked by four kunoichi. Two were accounted for now, two still in the area probably. Gai had fought two, but the woman with the naginata had been his primary opponent. Her comrade had been keeping to the shadows, trusting the kenjutsu user’s blade to create openings for her nasty jutsu and projectile attacks.

The moment Gai decided to get rid of the ninjutsu user first, she’d vanished and the distraction had earned Gai a cut across his back. A shallow wound, but it stung.

_Should never have separated…_

It had been Kakashi’s plan. Gai had a dummy scroll, a fake he carried in his vest pocket. The moment they were attacked, Kakashi yelled for him to get away and get the scroll to Konoha no matter the cost. Mission first. The nukenin were supposed to give chase – which they had at first – and though their village was still miles and miles away, Gai in sixth gate mode would have outrun them no problem. To be safe, he’d also summoned his emergency turtle. The little thing had flown away and would tell any nearby Konoha troups that they needed backup. Meanwhile Kakashi, who had the real scroll sealed away into a booby-trapped pack of cigarettes borrowed from Asuma, would bring up the rear and attack from behind if the opportunity presented itself.

Only they had misjudged their enemies – perhaps the nukenin had special sensory jutsu that enabled them to see through the ruse because after a while, they all simply gave up on Gai and ganged up on Kakashi instead.

Once he realized that his opponents had lost interest and were going after his rival, Gai instantly abandoned their initial strategy and turned around to fight by Kakashi’s side.

Cursing under his breath, Gai looked around. The strain of keeping the gates open for too long was making it difficult to focus on his surroundings. His nostrils were filled with the smell of blood and burnt ozone. Wisps of his own chakra rustled through the leaves on the trees. His own frantic heartbeat pounded in his ears.

Soon he would have no choice but to close the gates. Then it wouldn’t be long until exhaustion overwhelmed him. That was the price of the Hidden Lotus.  

He was running out of time.

After that brief flare, Kakashi’s chakra had vanished. Like a candle that had been snuffed out.

Gai was about to leap out of the crater and into the trees to get a better view of the forest when a scream ripped through the silence. The hoarse voice of a woman – definitely not Kakashi’s – and Gai breathed a little easier and set off in the direction it had come from.

He burst onto a chaotic scene. An enemy kunoichi was on the ground, held down by the massive form of Kakashi’s largest ninja hound Bull, whose teeth were buried in her shoulder. The other seven dogs were tearing at her as well, their muzzles dripping red.

Gai was just in time. Through the haze of the gates, he saw her shaking herself loose, her biceps bulging as she pushed Bull off herself long enough to form the seals of the replacement jutsu. In a puff of smoke, she vanished, only to appear behind the dogs. Their reaction time was painfully slow to Gai. They were confused, panting, clearly tired and somewhat directionless with Kakashi nowhere in sight. They were not used to fighting enemy shinobi completely on their own.

Gai saw the woman lunge for Bull’s throat, kunai in hand. She was fast, way too fast for clumsy Bull, but not fast enough for Gai. Without thinking, he inserted himself between her and her target and caught her wrist. He could feel the bone snap in his powerful grip, but the woman made no sound. Her dark eyes widened, she tried to turn her body, to use her momentum in a kick. Gai ducked easily and tossed her aside, sending her flying into the bushes. There was a part of him, he had to admit, that wanted her to roll and run. But she didn’t, of course she didn’t.

She landed on her feet and wiped the back of her uninjured hand across her mouth. Her lips were pale, glistening with saliva.     

Next to Gai, Bull let out a low growl.

The other dogs lined up behind him in battle formation.

Gai could tell that his opponent knew it was over. It was all in her eyes, and in the sudden sardonic quirk of her mouth. She didn’t even glance at the dogs.

“You’re a monster, aren’t you,” she drawled, “but you’re too late. I’m not afraid anymore. Come!”

She used strong fist and she was skilled, talented and trained almost to perfection. There were still a few things Gai could have taught her – and a few he could have learned from her as well – and had he not been using the Lotus already and had he not been worried for Kakashi, Gai might have enjoyed the fight and tried to make it last, and maybe, in another life—

But there was no time and she was a dangerous fighter who deserved his respect, so he gave it his all and ended it quickly.

Before his opponent’s life had fully faded from her eyes, Pakkun leapt onto his shoulder.

“South,” he barked into Gai’s ear, “Get moving, Kakashi’s in trouble!”

The rest of Kakashi’s pack, Gai realized, had already taken off to aid their master as soon as they were sure Gai didn’t need their support. There was an urgency here that made Gai’s chest tighten with dread.

Following Pakkun’s directions, Gai raced through the forest despite the heaviness spreading in his body. He knew he was losing chakra fast; the gates would only last him a few more minutes.

“They’re assassins, so they’re after the scroll, yeah, but getting it’s not enough. Their mission’s to kill you too,” Pakkun pressed out between panting. “The one Kakashi’s fighting is a ninjutsu type – a ton of chakra; I saw her fire off water, lightening, earth and wind jutsu, combining the elements, plus she was trying some serious genjutsu bullshit.”

“Kakashi has the Sharingan,” Gai shot back, genjustu should have no effect, “my rival is not easily bested.” Pakkun’s claws were digging uncomfortably into his injured back. He wasn’t worried about Kakashi, Gai told himself.

“She talks a lot, though,” Pakkun said, ignoring Gai’s reassurances, “Kind of annoying, but maybe useful.” The pug paused, his ears pricking. “At least she did before,” he mumbled.

It was too quiet.

“Kakashi’s running out of chakra, Gai! I can’t stay; you have to—“ He was gone before he could finish the sentence. Gai grit his teeth, feeling his own chakra depletion, a numbness that started at the tips of his fingers and toes and crept inwards.

Suddenly, someone burst through the foliage. A frontal attack!

Except it was Kakashi. Kakashi with his Sharingan exposed and chakra crackling in his palm.

“Kakashi!” Gai dodged, throwing himself aside at the last second. Electricity stung his left thigh, making the muscle spasm and sending him stumbling. “What are you—“

It wasn’t Kakashi. His eyes were too expressionless and when Gai caught him by the neck, the skin under his fingers was cool to the touch.

A shadow clone that vanished in a puff of white smoke as soon as Gai squeezed.

He ran through the smoke, following the clone’s trace back through the forest until he saw a strange dark sphere floating between the trees. When he realized what was trapped inside the sphere, Gai didn’t hesitate; he burst through the foliage, his eyes glued to his rival, who was motionless, his body suspended inside the energy field.

Without thinking, Gai drew back his fist. He’d destroy this evil thing and free his rival and then they would—

His punch connected and it was as if he had tried to punch the sun. Pain shot up his arm, momentarily overwhelming his brain, turning everything black.

When vision returned, Gai was on the ground, cradling his right hand against his chest. He knew instantly that all five fingers were broken under the burn blisters that were boiling up on his skin. He pushed himself up with his left hand and stared at Kakashi hanging over him like a lifeless doll.

Kakashi’s eyes were shut, but his chest was moving. Although he was upright, he seemed to be sleeping. Thankfully, this jutsu was apparently not too similar to the water prison technique. Whatever Kakashi was trapped in, it seemed to contain enough oxygen to keep him alive, at least for now.

“Where are my sisters?” The woman’s voice made Gai struggle to his feet.

He had taken too long and his impulsive attack had used up the last of his strength. It would be hours before he could use the gates again, possibly days.

The kunoichi was walking slowly toward him. To his disgust, she was flanked by three shadow clones, all transformed into Kakashi.

 _All Kakashi’s_ , he corrected himself silently. The one before had used chidori, Kakashi’s jutsu; it wasn’t something she could have made her own clone do. But to be able to control another person’s shadow clones… Gai had never heard of a technique like that. Maybe that strange sphere had something to do with it.

“Where are they? Did you kill them?” She stared at him and there was something deeply disturbing about her expression, the red slash of her half-open mouth, her quivering lips. “You did, didn’t you.”

Closer and closer she walked, her steps light despite the heavy armor plated sandals she wore – special forces issue, Gai thought as his eyes swept over her body to judge her physical strength and check for weapons. Her built was slim and wiry. The belt beneath her armored vest bore the scratched out symbol of the hidden mist. Surprising since he had seen the marred sign of Sunagkure on the hitai ate of the naginata user.

“You did. You did. You did,” she repeated with every step. Clearly, she was completely unhinged. Gai assumed his fighting stance, though his body protested by sending painful distress signals up and down his spine.

Behind the woman, the three Kakashi clones fanned out, circling Gai.

So she had taken leave of her senses but not to the point where she had forgotten how to fight, he thought. Bad luck.

“Release my partner and I will let you go,” he said evenly.

“I won’t do that. You killed my sisters.”

“They fought honorably. So should you! Don’t hold my partner hostage like a coward!”

She ducked her head, strands of brown hair slipping from her stubby ponytail and falling into her eyes as she covered her mouth, probably to keep that strange gurgling noise she made from escaping her lips.

Tears glittered in the corners of her eyes. It was a laugh, he realized, a girlish giggle, but somehow at the same time it was the sound of fury and it felt like a blade sliding down the length of his spine.

“Shinobi have no honor. I will give back your partner when you give back my sisters.” Her voice was as dead as her eyes.

“It’s too late for that now.” Seeing her insanity, her grief, Gai felt an irrational pang of regret. He shook his head, annoyed with himself. He was fighting to protect the people he loved! She had attacked them first; she had _chosen_ to abandon her village, to become a mercenary.

Her smile was truly a horrible thing. It seemed to plunge everything around it into darkness. “Then it’s too late for everything now,” she said and with that the shadow clones attacked.

They fought like Kakashi, of course they did.

Three Kakashis. More clones than his rival usually used simultaneously when they sparred, and they never sparred after Gai had just used the sixth gate for too long and fought four previous battles.

Killing her was the way to end it all, but the clones wouldn’t let him get anywhere near. And she just stood there, immobile, tracking his movements with her dead eyes.

His attention had wandered, and he was punished by a kunai drawing a perfectly straight line across his neck. Gai had bent backwards just in time to save his life, but he lost his balance – his legs had been trembling from fatigue since the beginning of the fight – and fell over into the dirt. He could feel it getting into the cut in his back, a toxic burn.

This was it. He was done.

He pushed against the soft ground, but he didn’t have any strength left. He was kicked, then a foot stomped on his chest and remained there, pressing down until his breath couldn’t make it to his lungs anymore and the world around him started to bleed like a watercolor picture in the rain.

Gai stared up at Kakashi, silently asking his rival for forgiveness.

“I want to give you a present.” The voice seemed to come from the depths of the ocean.

But suddenly the weight was lifted, allowing Gai to suck air into his lungs.

“I want to share my sisters’ suffering with you. I want you to understand what it’s like for us.”

He didn’t care what she was saying. All he cared about was being able to breathe for a little while longer.

“You should feel what it’s like to be used by your own comrades and then to be discarded like trash.” She had come closer again and Gai found himself wondering if she would finally give him an opening to kill her, to end this, to save Kakashi. Somehow.

“You’re as ugly and brutal as all of them, but I’m going to give this to you.”

“Don’t bore me with empty words, come, fight me yourself!” Gai gasped. His words were ignored, though she continued to stare at him, her expression blank and detached.

Two of the clones, however, grabbed him by his arms and pulled him up between them. The third one stepped in front of him.

Gai couldn’t do anything. He truly had no more strength left.

The real Kakashi was floating behind him. The kunoichi was off to the side, too far from him to do anything but glare at her. He didn’t even have a shuriken left he could throw.

Slowly, the clone in front of him started to move. His eyes were on Gai as he began to open his own vest. He dropped it on the ground, then pulled his sweatshirt and top over his head. Gai gaped at his rival’s bare face. It was, of course, one hundred percent Kakashi’s face, even the mole was right where it was supposed to be. And there was the Anbu tattoo on his biceps. If Gai’d had any doubt left that this truly was a clone Kakashi had made, it would have been erased now.

He watched the clone undress himself, feeling as if he had been dropped into an absurdist play of some kind.

“What is this?” he mumbled. _A strange ritual? A forbidden jutsu of some kind? Plain insanity?_

“You’ll understand soon.”

Gai swallowed, a drop of blood was irritatingly crawling down his neck. It tickled.

He kept his eyes on the clone’s face as it straightened after having discarded its pants and underwear.

As soon as it had finished, it stepped closer and began to roughly pull on Gai’s clothing. Within seconds, the two others were at it too, ripping fabric and shoving Gai around in order to complete their task. Gai twisted in their grasp and kicked at them. He caught a wrist in his mouth and bit down, but was slapped so hard his ears rang. Chakra depletion was already making him shiver, but within moments, he had another reason. He was buck naked and was pushed facedown into the dirt. The naked clone held him down, his knee pushing painfully into the small of Gai’s back.

Fabric rustled.

Gai breathed dirt and coughed. His whole body ached.

Two pairs of bare feet entered his small field of vision. Kakashi’s long, pale toes, his neatly trimmed toenails.

The knee lifted off his back and was replaced by the length of a body.

Realization dawned on Gai like the orange-red glow of a distant forest fire.

_I want to share my sisters’ suffering with you._

_You should feel what it’s like to be used by your own comrades and then to be discarded like trash._

“No!” Gai screamed and struggled; he kicked his legs and dug his fingers into the earth for purchase, ignoring the blinding pain in his right hand. “Stop! Don’t do this! _Pl--!_ ”

He’d never begged before. Not ever. Not during the kyuubi attack. Not during the war. Not when he was five years old and two grown men had beaten him senseless for standing up for his father.

The clone was rubbing against him, grinding into the back of his thighs. Gai felt its merciless hardness.

“This is evil! It dishonors your sisters!”

“They were already dishonored, just like you will be. Someone like you won’t be able to look down on them any longer.”

He could feel the clone’s harsh breaths leaving damp imprints on his skin, as though it was a real living man and not a shadow clone. As though it was Kakashi. Gai squeezed his eyes shut, hollow despair threatening to swallow him. He wanted to die before this could go further. He had to end this. If he allowed this to happen to him—

“If you do this, you’re no better than any man who—“

“I’m not,” she cut him off, “I’m not better or worse than any man.”

Someone grabbed him by the hair and pulled his head up painfully. Gai didn’t open his eyes. He breathed through his nose. Cool flesh bumped against the tight line of his lips. There was no smell, other than that of the forest mixed with his own – sweat and blood –and, for the first time in a long time, fear.

Things were dragged across his face. Gai didn’t dare open his mouth to protest.

_I will bite. If I bite hard enough the clones will disappear. They can’t—_

The familiar touch of Kakashi’s hand in an unfamiliar place. His jaw was in a vice. Two men, _not_ _men_ , were forcing it open. He couldn’t even scream anymore.

The bitter taste cut off his breath. Panic made Gai’s eyes pop open. He saw hairy flesh. Pale skin dusted with fine silver. His head swam. Blood smeared along his back and trickled down his throat. His neck was bent at a painful angle. The friction in his mouth felt wrong. He gagged and choked and gasped for air, instinct thwarting his own desire to die.

Something stabbed between his legs. The pain of being penetrated was the greatest humiliation Gai had ever experienced. His face was wet with tears.

The agony that followed did not ebb or swell, it remained the same throughout, unbearable, and yet not enough to end him.

They made noises, the clones, and Gai wanted to forget them as soon as they entered his brain – forcing their way into his consciousness, making him lose all sense of ever having belonged to himself. They grunted and groaned. It was Kakashi’s voice. Hoarse in his ears, demanding, impatient.

“You’re crying,” the woman said almost tenderly, “like a girl. Just like I did.”

***

Like everything in the world, eventually it stopped.

“Stop,” she said. And there was the rush of displaced air and then silence punctuated only by Gai’s harsh breathing. “I’m going now. I feel sick. I have to find my sisters’ bodies and bury them. I have to pick flowers for their graves.”

Gai pressed his face into the dirt to drown out her voice.

“But the flowers will die if I pick them, so maybe I will plant them instead. I have a lot of work to do.”

Something trickled down the inside of his thigh. Blood, he thought, because clones had no—

“It's because of you. But I forgive you now. My sisters would want me to. Goodbye.” Receding footsteps. Then, suddenly, a strange _pop._  

Not far, something heavy hit the ground.

A body.

Kakashi.

It took great effort to raise his head; he had to, though, to see – even if he didn’t know where to put his hopes.

Kakashi was on his back. His eyes were closed. He was breathing slowly, regularly like he was taking one of his naps. Golden flecks of sunlight were dancing across his green vest.

Maybe the strange jutsu interfered with the way shadow clones worked. Maybe Kakashi wouldn’t—

Gai couldn’t finish the thought; it slipped away from him, taking the rest of the world with it.

***

 “Gai-san… Gai-san, can you hear me?”

A man’s voice, vaguely familiar, brought Gai back to consciousness. He hurt. He hurt everywhere. But the memories were worse than the pain. His throat constricted around them, and the tightness triggered yet another memory. He grasped blindly for something, anything to hold on, but moving his right hand made agony explode in bright bursts across the dark inside of his eyelids.

“Any response from Kakashi-san?”

“Still unconscious.”

“I think Gai-san’s coming around though.”

“His hand looks awful, Kuma. You think they’ll be able to fix it back home?”

“Sure, Tsunade-sama is fucking amazing. It’ll take a couple of weeks, but she’ll heal him, you’ll see.”

“Severe chakra depletion over here. Captain, give me some space, please. Go make a stretcher or something, geez.”

“Good idea, Miharu, that’s gonna keep Captain busy for at least two seconds.”

“Two injured jounin in an unsecured perimeter and you still find the time to joke? I’m going to tell you what _I_ expect to happen in two seconds. I expect my squad to be ready to move out. I’ve sent word back to the village. I’ve reported the situation and I’ve told them that we will return with Kakashi-senpai and Gai-san by tomorrow evening. Don’t make me a liar.”

Gai flinched at the sound of that voice. He knew this man, and the last thing he wanted was for someone who knew him to see the state he was in.

“Understood!”

“Yes, Sir.”

Opening his eyes was an incredible feat. It took several attempts before he was able to blink into the fading evening light. Uncomprehending, Gai stared up at the white mask floating above him. A bear with red markings for eyebrows. The body attached to the mask was almost comically large and muscular.

Gai found himself gazing up into the dark eyeholes, feeling lost. He wanted to burrow deeper into the blanket that someone had wrapped around him.  

“Gai-san’s awake!”

“Kakashi-san seems to be regaining consciousness as well.”

Gai tensed up, a sick feeling rising in his stomach.

There was movement next to him.

He turned his head. Kakashi was lying on an emergency blanket. A woman in an Anbu uniform was kneeling next to him. Her bird mask was dangling around her neck, the strap half undone, so that Gai could see the look of concentration on her face.

Kakashi’s eyelids were twitching. Then, slowly, his one eye opened. Instantly Kakashi gasped, his face scrunching up as his body convulsed. Gai suddenly felt far away, like he was watching an event from the distant past, something that was long over and done with.

His rival made a strange choking noise, then Gai’s view was suddenly blocked by the squad crowding around Kakashi. All he could see was Tenzou’s back as he leaned over Kakashi, helping him turn over.

“Senpai!”

There was the guttural noise of someone puking his guts out, interrupted only by faint whimpering. It took Gai a few seconds to realize that both sounds where coming from his rival.

“It’s okay, Kakashi-senpai. You’re okay now.”

Gai closed his eyes and let Tenzou’s words wash over him like a mantra.

“We’re taking you back to Konoha. It’s going to be okay.”

 _Liar_ , he thought.

***

_A characteristic that is unique to the Shadow Clone Technique is that any experience the clones gain during their existence is transferred to the user once they are dispersed._

**Author's Note:**

> Last sentence copy-pasted from the wikia entry for the kage bunshin no jutsu. 
> 
> Maybe one day, there will be a sequel to this fic, but if you think this was dark, imagine how dark a sequel would be. Especially with some Kakashi POV parts.


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